You’ve taken such care to weave your children in the fabric of that day and make them an important part of it. The ceremony is a whirlwind of carefully planned events, with thought going into every aspect. When children are coming into the marriage, it is appropriate to mention in the ceremony that not only is a marriage being formed, but also a family – and then we name each child. If your doing a simple ring exchange, perhaps give the children a small jewelry-type gift immediately following the ring exchange – a necklace, medallion or ring. After exchanging roses, you can give each child a rose. If you choose to present roses as part of the ceremony, it’s a nice touch to have a rose for each of the children. Give them all a chance to light the candles. If a unity candle is part of your plan, make it a Family Candle instead. You can even have them sign the papers with you! Have them front and center when the officiant introduces the new husband and wife. It is also appropriate to mention them in any prayers said during the service. Use their names right in the ceremony, or even incorporate them into your vows. The children are an integral part of that equation, and they need to have their importance reinforced. When a parent gets married, it’s not just a couple that is joining together a family is being forged. Establish the Children as Part of the Union So provide them the time they need to fully accept the changes before expecting them to embrace a supporting role. What may be a clear rejection at the beginning may become an enthusiastic acceptance, if given a little time. It may take some time for your child to fully digest and accept your request for their participation. Incorporating the children in the ceremony establishes their important role in your new life together. Children often are not able to express fears or doubts they may have.
It is very important if children are coming into the marriage that they be recognized or participate in some part of the wedding ceremony itself. Teens can stand up with the couple, play the CD or tape of wedding music, or even just take pictures of the ceremony with a one time camera.
Help take care of gifts at the reception.Hand out flowers to guests or scatter rose petals.Hand out wedding programs or directions to the reception.Ask guests to sign pages in a scrapbook.They can (sometimes) be helpful! Depending on their age, level of responsibility and of course willingness, they can: Little kids in pretty dresses and tiny tuxedos are more than cute ornaments.
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